Itt, Fester, and Lurch all vie for the lead in Gomez's "new" play. The play is Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet." "Hamlet" and "The Merchant of Venice" are also the subject of jokes. Expatriate German Sig Ruman, a Marx Bros. favorite, appears at age 79 as Director Erich von Bissell in one of his last television roles. Note: Lurch's line, "Lady Chatterley, I love you" was both daring and funny on prime-time TV in the 1960s. Cousin Itt learns to speak in a resonant low-pitched voice.

On the occasion of their 13th wedding anniversary, Morticia recalls the story of how she and Gomez first met and fell in love. Margaret Hamilton guest-stars as the mother of Ophelia and Morticia. Family mentioned: Gomez's Aunt Trivia (last mentioned in "Lurch and His Harpsichord") who Gomez (in the flashback sequence) claims sent them a dozen broken cup handles; Gomez refers to her as "our" aunt, implying that she might be Grandmama's aunt and thus Gomez's great-aunt. Notes: Ophelia Frump is a blonde who wears flowers in her hair, carries a bouquet and dances around. Later, in Ophelia Visits Morticia we learn that the flowers are growing out of her head and have to be weeded. Morticia Frump is a grown-up Wednesday with the same hair and clothing, and a headless Marie Antoinette doll. It is obvious which sister Gomez prefers from the beginning, but the mothers have other ideas. Morticia's carnivorous plant, Cleopatra, is small enough to be carried around in a box. Kitty is her pet cat. Lurch is identical to his later self, as are Grandmama and Thing. Family History: The episode marks Gomez and Morticia's thirteenth wedding anniversary, meaning that they married in 1952. Gomez states that Thing, one of the family servants, has been his companion since childhood; the episode "Thing Is Missing" depicted a photograph of Thing's parents, and thus Thing might have inherited his role as a servant from them (In some wealthy families, it is not uncommon for children to befriend the children of servants). Fester is shown to be Morticia and Ophelia's uncle; since in an earlier episode, Fester seemed not to know his own surname, perhaps meaning that he (and, by implication, his sister Hester, aka Granny Frump) has none, this indicates that he is Morticia and Ophelia's maternal uncle, since their father's surname, Frump, is clearly stated more than once during the series. In contrast, Cousin Itt is shown to have lived in the Addams home prior to Gomez and Morticia's marriage, confirming that he is Gomez's cousin, not Morticia's. Gomez and Morticia are both 22 years old when they marry, indicating that both were born in 1930. First appearance of Ophelia (played by Carolyn Jones) which predates Samantha/Serena (Elizabeth Montgomery) of Bewitched by three months.

Morticia's tale continues as she remembers how Gomez nearly married her sister Ophelia instead of her and what they had to do to get Ophelia to love someone else. Family mentioned: Morticia's, or perhaps Fester's, Aunt Phobia (who had two right feet; last mentioned in "Morticia, the Breadwinner") who married Uncle Tic (who had two left feet); Fester, at least, believes the marriage to have been a mistake. Another reference to Aunt Trivia (Grandmama mentions her funeral). Gomez's Cousin Fungus (who lived in the cave at the back of the Addams Mansion's tunnels for 30 years). Cartoon reference: In an original Addams cartoon, Wednesday cuts a chain of paper dolls and one oddly has three legs. No caption. The young Morticia does the same. Gomez: "How do you do that?" Morticia: "I don't know; it always comes out that way." Notes: In one of the framing scenes, Gomez plays a Gottlieb "Dancing Dolls"[4] pinball machine. Interestingly, the Addams Family pinball machine is the best-selling pinball of all time. Uncle Fester is said to have "shot the arrow" (and he says, "the gun") that brought Morticia's mother and father together. Uncle Fester has a moment where he breaks the fourth wall. There is some sexually suggestive dialog ("He won't know what he's getting into") and mildly risqu? actions concerning Cousin Itt and Ophelia, who discover an instant mutual attraction. There are references to Shakespeare again: Gomez quotes a line from Hamlet when thinking about Ophelia. Actor Edward Schaaf plays the minister who performs the marriage ceremony.

Pretentious Aunt Millicent (Gomez's aunt from Marshy Bottom, Iowa, played by Elvia Allman) visits the family with her handmaiden Lady Fingers, with whom Thing falls in love. Aunt Millie married a prince (who was also a pauper, says Morticia) and still considers herself a princess. Unfortunately for Thing's romance with Lady Fingers, Aunt Millie is unbearable. Notes: Princess Millicent arrives in a sedan chair which is obviously a prop as it is never lifted by her two uncredited lackeys. This episode contains several clever examples of wordplay about hands (Thing's and Lady Fingers's) and also Gomez's line "See? Even the pages have turned over a new leaf" referring to Wednesday and Pugsley who were dressed in medieval costumes.

Gomez runs against Arthur Henson (Parley Baer) for mayor. Notes: Eddie Quillan plays Henson's assistant again, using the name Clyde Arbogast (which is not mentioned in the show). Familiar face Jack Barry plays a reporter. Character actors Lennie Bremen and Bart "Buzz" Greene play a couple of construction workers. Family mention: Lafayette Addams who said "The family honor is at stake" before he skipped town before a duel.

Terror strikes Cousin Itt as he begins to lose his hair. Uncle Fester develops a hair-growing formula with his new chemistry set. Notes: Meg Wyllie plays Mrs. Dragwater, a widowed lady who attracts Uncle Fester, who has grown hair and considers himself handsome. Frankie Darro delivers Fester's chemistry set; Darro was 5'3" and Lurch towers over him more than usual. When Mrs. Dragwater is visiting, Morticia summons Lurch using a small gong on a table but the sound of it is the same as the noose bell-pull. Then Morticia requests cocktails and Lurch produces a tray with the drinks on it from behind his back. The finale occurs in Cousin Itt's crowded low-ceilinged room with Marx-brothers-like confusion as everyone looks for the ringing telephone. Family mention: Gomez's Aunt Anemia is in a portrait painting where it originally depicted her with a beard and moustache after Uncle Fester splashed hair restorer on it.

Wednesday is devastated when a neighbor named Mr. Thompson tells her that there are no such things as witches. The family attempts to disprove Mr. Thompson with a seance trying to summon Aunt Singe. Grandmama conspires with Lurch. Family mention: Morticia's Great-Great-Great Aunt Singe, who was burned at Salem, is described as a witch and whose ashes are in an urn. Clump (Uncle Fester's deceased brother who he claimed was the "quiet one" when they held a seance to talk to him). Cousin Cackle has lived in the caves beneath the mansion for decades, implying that he and Cousin Fungus (mentioned in "Morticia's Romance, Part 1") might be one and the same. Notes: Cousin Cackle (played by Don McArt) makes an appearance. Movie actress Yvonne Peattie plays "Penelope Sandhurst," who trick-or-treats at the Addams house in a witch costume and is mistaken for a real witch (Aunt Singe). Bob Jellison appears as "Henry Sandhurst," who is on a scavenger hunt with Penelope. (Neither of the Sandhurst names are mentioned in the show.) The bobbing-for-apples-on-a-seesaw routine is classic slapstick and is rerun at the end of the show. When Gomez summons Lurch to obtain his hat and cane, Lurch has them already in his hands.

When Pugsley and Wednesday come home from school with books about evil witches and slaying dragons, Morticia begins writing twisted books for children. Gomez cannot get her affection any more, since she is obsessed with writing, so he tries to sabotage her career. Notes: Peter Bonerz appears as Morticia's publisher. Gomez shows his athletic ability by standing on his head, and by performing trick ping-pong shots. There are now two cigar-store Indian props. The new one was given to Gomez by Morticia, and Morticia tells Gomez, "You always said I was an Indian giver."

Morticia takes up sculpting and Gomez, wanting her to believe she is good at it, pays Sam Picaso (Vito Scotti) to buy them. Notes: Hugh Sanders again plays art critic Bosley Swain. He does not like Morticia's sculpture. Morticia quotes Keat's famous line, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever," and attributes it. Gomez's drawer of money ("petty cash") is emptied by his scheme and his bank account is overdrawn. Family mentioned: Cousin Vague (who Gomez states is "abstract as you can get"), Grandmama's Great-Great-Grandmother Slice (who sharpened the guillotine and was "The belle of the French Revolution")

Pugsley ("I'm in love") sends one of Gomez's old love letters to Morticia to his schoolteacher Miss Dunbar (Jill Andre). After complaining to the school principal (character actor Thomas Browne Henry, credited as "Tom Brown Henry"), Miss Dunbar visits the Addams family and erroneously thinks that Gomez sent the letter. Notes: In the opening scene Morticia is using a dentist's drill on Gomez, who enjoys it, perhaps a nod to "The Little Shop of Horrors" (1960) and its macabre comedy scene featuring Jack Nicholson at the dentist. Classic literature is mocked again: Morticia: "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." Gomez: "Lincoln?" Morticia: "Jefferson" (Tennyson). Gomez grabs Miss Dunbar (with Morticia's approval) and her glasses fall off and the comb falls out of her hair, letting her hair fall down on her shoulders, revealing her as attractive.

Wednesday crushes on classmate Robespierre Courtney, but his parents (Fred Clark, Virginia Gregg) are more interested in social climbing with the Addams family, because they think socialite Abigail Quincy Addams is a relative living with the family. Notes: The tower is Lurch's room. Uncle Fester says "I know a spy when I see one. He has the face of THRUSH!" referring to "The Man from U.N.C.L.E" which was running on the rival network NBC. Family mentioned: "Stonewall" Addams who was not afraid....when he flunked his physical. Gomez mentions a family of "Boston one-D Adamses," his distant relations, of which Abigail fancies herself the head.

There is a neighborhood burglar on the loose, and Morticia has reason to believe it may be Gomez. Note: Familiar actors Ken Mayer and Bill White, Jr. appear as policemen. Family reference: Mr. Addams (Gomez's father, presumably Grandmama's husband) who enjoyed yak gravy on "glutton" bread, (not gluten the way he ate it) Cartoon reference: Morticia, in the opening scene, again cuts the paper dolls. They all have two heads and two legs except the one in the middle, which has one head and three legs. In the cartoon, Wednesday cuts a chain of paper dolls and the middle one has three legs.

Gomez seeks a special photographer to capture his portrait for Strife Magazine. Notes: Uncle Fester walks on stilts across the living room. Gomez has been hanging upside down from the ceiling for three days. Obtaining a driver's license is mocked. Gomez needs a photo of himself for the magazine and only one photographer will do, and he now takes photos for driver's licenses. Tom D'Andrea takes Gomez on the driving test. Ralph Montgomery plays the magazine photographer. Roger Arroyo performs Cousin Itt in this episode because Felix Silla was unavailable.

Gomez plays host to Don Xavier Molina de la Mancha Molinas (?) (Anthony Caruso), a family friend during his childhood in Spain. Don Xavier arrives with his daughter Consuela, who was betrothed to Gomez when he was five years old, and her Duenna (chaperone), character actress Bella Bruck. Carlos Rivas plays a dancer. Family reference: Gomez's Grandpapa (whether this was Grandpa Squint from "Fester's Punctured Romance," "Gomez the Politician," "Amnesia in the Addams Family" or Grandpa Slurp from "The Addams Family Tree" is unspecified) who signed the marriage contract. Cousin Crimp, previously mentioned in "Lurch and his Harpsichord" and "Morticia, the Breadwinner," whom Gomez mistakes for himself in Morticia's jail painting. Note: Gomez hops on a pogo stick and rides an old-fashioned tricycle, but his skateboard riding is more or less faked. Don Xavier is momentarily surprised by Thing's existence but quickly adapts, saying that in America servants are cheap. Later, Thing pours him a glass of wine, and he says, "Gracias," adding, "You're very handy."

Not wanting the children to be disappointed after hearing from Mr. Thompson that there's no such thing as Santa Claus, every member of the family dresses up as him to prove to Wednesday and Pugsley that he's real. Family mentioned: Cousin Caliban whose head sculpture is a gift for Grandmama (implying that Caliban is Gomez's cousin on his mother's side); sculptor did not do the other head. Aunt Singe from "Halloween - Addams Style" is mentioned where it was mentioned by Morticia that there were no witches until she was conjured. Cartoon References: #1 Morticia decorates a bare Christmas tree, no caption. #2 The children stoke the fireplace. The caption reads The little dears, they still believe in Santa Claus. Note: Morticia sings "Deck the Halls", accompanying herself on the samisen, with Lurch playing harpsichord and Thing providing percussion. Later, the entire cast sings "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". Morticia plays a string bass, Gomez's present to her, to the Addams theme.

Uncle Fester decides to marry a bearded lady (Diana) he's been corresponding with. He's challenged to prove that he can support her. He takes a course in becoming a wheeler-dealer and undergoes a personality change. Notes: Gomez hammers a croquet field into the enormous rug (which appears to be a Bibikabad, but is probably fake) in the living room. Looking in the telephone book: Cybernetics... Cyclops... Cychiatrists [sic] Guest stars: Roy Roberts appears as business executive Thaddeus Logan. Harold Peary plays the "Cychiatrist", Dr. Brown, who makes a house call to treat Fester. Both of them flee the Addams house. Cartoon reference: In the cartoon, Morticia cuts a chain of paper dolls and one oddly has three legs and two heads. No caption. In the show, all the other dolls are normal but the center one has three legs and two heads, exactly the same.

The Addams mansion becomes a battlefield when Gomez and Morticia tell Grandmama and Uncle Fester that they think they are spoiling Pugsley and Wednesday. Irene Tedrow plays Inez Thudd, the governess. Notes: Grandmama wrestles an alligator and defeats it in 12 seconds, and then Blossom Rock gets an opportunity for wordplay and comedy, which she uses admirably. Inez Thudd, ("call me Thudd"), the governess, seems at first to be almost one of the Addams family, saying that she likes the house, and encouraging Wednesday to have a positive attitude about her broken guillotine. Character actor Loyal T. (Doc) Lucas plays the proprietor of the Last Chance Motel. Family mentioned: Old Ebenezer Addams who was said to be "inspiring" after he sold the first guns to the Indians. Great Grandfather Blob - who pried the "Great Star of the East", the sacred ruby from the head of a Hindu. Cousin Nanook (last mentioned in "The Addams Family Splurges") whose family's four faces are carved in a totem pole.

When Uncle Fester vows to get in shape for a visit from his pen pal, Morticia jumps to an out-of-this-world conclusion. Notes: Fester's pen pal Yvette, from the Folies Berg?re, is played by actress Peggy Mondo. Jack LaLanne guest-stars as himself, and William Keene plays the doctor who makes a house call on Fester. Rolfe Sedan makes another appearance as the postman. Although there are a couple of jokes about dieting, the main focus of the show is on exercise. Family mentioned: Cousin Slump - "one moment a brilliant nuclear physicist, the next he was running around Los Alamos in a three cornered hat and powdered wig." Grandpa Squint Adams - who said of Cousin Blob (stated to be a ghost in "Lurch Learns to Dance") that "two heads are better than one"; fourth and final reference to Grandpa Squint since "Fester's Punctured Romance," "Gomez the Politician," "Amnesia in the Addams Family," and "Morticia's Dilemma."

The Addams Family hire a shady captain and his first mate to help them find a buried treasure. Notes: Roger Arroyo plays Cousin Itt in this episode. Richard Reeves (again billed as Dick Reeves) appears again (he was in Progress and the Addams Family) as the conspiring first mate. Veteran actor Nestor Paiva, who was in 250 or more movies, plays the captain. He died just 8 months after the broadcast. Wednesday and Pugsley come home from school; Pugsley is casually carrying a lighted stick of dynamite. This episode may be the first appearance of the gumball machine. Gomez repairs model trains in the living room. Family mentioned: Great-Grandfather Pegleg - wanted by 15 countries for piracy. Wore a pegleg just for appearances. Buried at sea with full military honors - handcuffed, blindfolded and dropped off a plank. Portrait of Uncle Droop (who "appeared" as an urn of ashes in "Lurch Learns to Dance") in a Civil War general's uniform with eyes popping off the painting; Droop is identical in appearance to General Ulysses S. Addams (mentioned in "Uncle Fester's Toupee"), implying that the former is a direct descendant of the latter. Portrait of Aunt Drip (previously seen in "Lurch Learns to Dance"), who was married to Uncle Droop (normal looking).

Morticia's sister Ophelia has a new beau and the family is convinced he is a fraud, so they attempt to reveal him. Notes: Gomez is repairing his model trains again. Ophelia bangs on the gumball machine and looks to see if anything came out. When Horatio, played by Robert Nichols, is introduced in the opening scene, Ophelia's dress is revealed to be somewhat too sheer for 60s TV in the chest area. Shakespeare is referenced again; Ophelia mentions "slings and arrows" and her boyfriend is named Horatio. Ophelia performs a judo throw on Horatio and goes up and down the fireman's pole. She says that it's fun.

Pugsley shocks his parents when he announces that he wants to find a job. Pugsley and Wednesday get a job doing chores for the Henson family. Notes: Parley Baer is Mr. Henson and Natalie Masters is Mrs. Henson, again. Pugley attempts to find a job with Dr. Bird (television actor Jack Collins), bank vice-president Mr. Glenville (Robert Carson, credited as Robert S. Carson) and bookie "Bennie" (Tim Herbert). Morticia ties Gomez up in chains and ropes so he can practice being an "escape artist." He plays three scenes while bound. Mr. Henson's garage appears to be Mr. Ed's stable door. Family mentioned: Cousin Goop who really knew how to look for a job...never found one.

Granny Frump (Margaret Hamilton) mistakenly believes that Gomez and Morticia are sending her to a home for the aged for her birthday. Granny Frump tries to prove that she is not old. Notes: In the opening scene, Gomez and Morticia are sharing a hookah; later, Morticia pets the smoking dragon again. Margaret Hamilton dressing as a child in a sailor-suit blouse with a big hair bow is priceless. She owns this episode, which partly appears to be designed around her own joke about her lack of conventional beauty: when she was told that she would play the Witch in the The Wizard of Oz, she said, "What else?". But certainly it is not she on the pogo stick, doing cartwheels and jumping rope, nor is it John Astin dismounting from the parallel bars. Wednesday's poem, "A Spider is a Girl's Best Friend," is a charming performance. George Petrie plays Dr. Jonley who assesses Granny Frump's suitability for the old folks' home.

The Digbys moved in next door three months ago. Joe Digby sells insurance, and the Addamses decide to get some as part of their "good neighbor policy." Morticia decides to decorate their new house, as well. Notes: Gomez plays a slot machine in the opening segment. After the insurance deal, Fester and Lurch deliver an "authentic Sheraton" sideboard [note 3] to the Digbys as a housewarming present. Then the Digbys go on vacation and Morticia goes to work. While Gomez is using the trampoline, standing on his head and practicing sword-swallowing, Morticia presents him with decorating ideas. Eddie Quillan appears again, this time as Joe Digby, and Jeff Donnell plays Eleanor Digby, his wife.

Ophelia's fianc? Montrose has left her to join the Peace Corps, so the family attempts to enroll Fester so he can retrieve him. This does not turn out well. Notes: As soon as Ophelia arrives and Gomez greets her she judo-throws him. And then again. There are suicide jokes, such as Gomez's "I'll tell Morticia there'll be one less for lunch." Carolyn Jones's nipples show through Ophelia's dress again. Gomez takes his coat off and reveals sleeve garters and a cummerbund. Modern art is mocked when Morticia decides to burn her paintings, and then paints Fester as an angel. Preparation for a career in the Peace Corps is parodied. Motion picture character actor George Cisar makes a brief appearance as Ophelia's boyfriend Montrose, and gets a credit, which was rare for his movie appearances.

Gomez and Morticia take over management of a private school run by Sam Hilliard (Allyn Joslyn). Notes: Thing mysteriously shows up in Mr. Hillard's office. Later he lights Gomez's cigar with an lit finger. Preparing for classes, Morticia is examining objects on a table: a small orrery, a (bent) metal model of spherical coordinates, a pile of old slates, a couple of old lanterns, perhaps kerosene, and one with a candle, a spyglass, a wind-up phonograph that Fester demonstrates, what appears to be a magic lantern, and other objects. Gomez and Morticia look into a funhouse mirror. While Lurch plays harpsichord, Thing plays a xylophone, Fester plays cymbals, and Gomez plays a percussion instrument made from a tambourine, a cowbell, a wood block, a small hi-hat, and the pogo stick. Actress Carol Byron plays Mr. Hillard's secretary. Actress Pat Brown plays Mrs. Bennet, the spokesperson for a delegation of parents. Family mentioned: Old Erasmus Addams who once said "You've got to take the bull by the teeth".

Kitty Cat is feeling under the weather. Dr. Mbogo will not treat Kitty Cat because his dad was eaten by Kitty Cat's dad. The Addams family calls in a veterinarian who reluctantly treats Kitty Cat, Cleopatra, Cousin Itt and Uncle Fester, but balks at treating Thing. Notes: Kitty Cat turns from female to male when coming out of the cave. The veterinarian, Dr. Marvin P. Gunderson, is played by Marty Ingels, who starred with John Astin in I'm Dickens, He's Fenster. Loyal "Doc" Lucas makes another appearance as the person who answers Dr. Mbongo's telephone in Africa. This appears to be reused footage. Gomez says "Umgawa" when on the phone to Africa.

Gomez builds a robot to help Lurch around the house. Lurch orders the robot to do all his jobs, but the work (for example, cooking) is poor. Notes: Gomez recites part of "Dem Bones" while using a pointer on an anatomy chart, which is supposedly the design of his creation. When he starts to assemble the robot, he asks Fester for a screwdriver, and Fester hands him a drink, which he drains and then says, "Delicious." There is a shooting gallery installed in the living room. Lurch is shown taking a break in an easy chair, reading a book and smoking a calabash. Later he dresses elegantly and is prepared to go for a walk ("My constitutional," he says). "Smiley," Robby the Robot, is billed as "Itself." Family mentioned: Morticia's painting of Cousin Crimp (two-headed with a male and female head) is shown after being previously mentioned in "Lurch and his Harpsichord," "Morticia, the Breadwinner," and "Morticia's Dilemma"; fourth and final reference to Cousin Crimp.

When Uncle Fester tries to use a flamethrower to light Gomez's cigar, he destroys the gigantic stuffed bear. Joe Digby forgot to cancel the Addams's insurance policy covering household accidents, although his boss, Arthur Henson, ordered it. Notes: A mango plantation, a crocodile farm in Mozambique and tapioca mines on the top of Mt. Everest are a few of the things that Gomez owns. After Digby is fired by Henson, Gomez (at Morticia's suggestion) sets up the Digby Insurance Company at the Addams house (50% off, Free Dishes With Every Purchase). Mockery of the insurance business, beginning with Henson's admonition to Digby that there are two sides to insurance. When Henson and Digby drive up to the Addams house, they get out of the car and slam the car doors to the Addams theme music -- slam slam. Guest stars: Parley Baer and Eddie Quillan reprise their roles as Henson and Digby, respectively.

Lurch suffers from unrequited love over Trivia (Diane Jergens, in her last on-screen appearance), Morticia's visiting school chum who only has eyes for show business. Notes: Lurch gets lessons in romance from Gomez, Wednesday and Fester. Wednesday dances to rock-and-roll while egging Lurch on. "Romeo and Juliet" is the subject of a joke about living "happily ever after." Grandmama administers a love potion to Trivia, which causes chaos. Trivia, a non-relative, shares a name with both Aunt Trivia "Lurch and His Harpsichord" and "Morticia's Romance: Part 1" and Cousin Trivia who was previously mentioned in "Cousin Itt and the Vocational Counselor. Family mentioned: "Casanova" Addams who was jailed for non-payment of alimony.

When Ophelia laments that she has been jilted, Morticia suggests a career as an alternative to marriage. Notes: Ophelia judo-throws Gomez three times soon after her arrival. Ophelia parodies the advertising slogan, "There's something about an Aqua Velva man." She also sings the beginning of "The Last Rose of Summer." There are jokes about popular songs and classical music. New props in the living room include a sawmill saw, welding equipment, a rifle, a barrel and objects hanging from the ceiling (e.g. a penny-farthing). Ben Wright and Ralph Rose are guest stars. Family mentioned: "Sir Newton" Addams, a scientist who set his house on fire.